When we are stressed, our brain makes stress hormones called C.R.H (corticotropic - releasing – hormone). In times of stress or emotional turmoil, breathing can be our first and best friend for creating inner peace or calmness for self-reflection. Breathing in and out with focused awareness for the count of five tends to increase the flow of neuro-peptides in the brain. The most of these are serotonin (5ht), dopamine, adrenaline and nor-adrenaline. Serotonin, nor – adrenaline and dopamine, these are the brains happy messengers, these begin to malfunction when stress levels become more than a person a can handle. In a very general sense, serotonin can be said to act in opposition to adrenaline, dopamine group in that serotonin acts as a break relaxant (serotonin – the break pedal). Serotonin links the emotional, impulsive limbic system to the sensible, thoughtful cortex (the thinking brain/the rational brain). Where as the adrenaline and dopamine acts as a brain stimulant (the accelerator pedal). This however is a gross over simplification, since the precise affect produced in the brain by any particular neuro-peptide depends largely on the balance between serotonin and any other neuro-peptides present and active in the brain at that time. The following techniques on the following pages, show us reasonable and beneficial ways to live and help us avoid pit falls of negative emotions such as anger. STOP & BREATHE Stop and breathe is the fastest and most effective way to calm you down quickly and enabling you to manage your emotions with calmness. Stop and breathe induces deep mental and physical relaxation. This helps the body recover from both physical and emotional effects of stress and brings immediate relief from excess muscle tension, anxiety and nervousness. Stop and breathe, lessens the effects of high blood pressure and heart rate. It is also associated with a variety of beneficial physiologic and biochemical response that are exactly opposite to those seen during stress. Stop and breathe does not change any underlying problems, instead it brings you in contact with your emotions and feelings so that you can look further into yourself and deal more effectively with the current emotion or feelings. Further steps of PSYCHO-PHYSIOLOGICAL RELAXATION are: STOP & PAY ATTENTION This technique will help you to become increasingly aware of what you are feeling inside. 'Stop & Pay Attention' helps you to identify your feelings. When you are aware and paying attention to what you are feeling inside you are simply remaining with 'what is', you are not denying this feeling, and you are not running away from it or ignoring it. You are just giving your optimal attention to it. In that attention you found, that you were making unrealistic demands (reality should be different (this is the cause)) and or exaggerated evaluation (this is awful/I can’t stand it/its hurting me/it’s terrible, etc. (this is the effect that you feel)) you can see the whole structure of your feeling (the cause and effect). Once you discover the cause, the effect ends. Once you recognise them for what they are then ' STOP & REFLECT'. STOP & REFLECT Once the emotional reaction is brought into the awareness with Stop, Breathe and pay attention technique, you are no longer poisoning yourself but are in control and you can shake off a bad mood. Ask yourself: What am I telling myself that is making me upset, frustrated, bitter, resentful, guilty or angry. Once you discover, what it is you are telling yourself. Stop & Reflect' will help you identify the thoughts that are causing you to be angry. In other words it helps you find out the cause. Once the root cause has been discovered the effect will end. If you still feel upset, then ask yourself: "what could I still be telling myself? Examples I acknowledge that I am upset because my bus arrived earlier than it usually does, and because of this I have missed it and will very likely be late for work. My upset, however, is not being caused by the fact that the bus was earlier than I had expected, but because I am probably 'telling myself that it should have not been early. In other words, I am demanding that a state of reality that clearly exists (and has been brought about through the laws of cause and effect, as all reality has) should not exist because I find inconvenient. In other words "I demand that Universal laws should be suspended, if/when, they inconvenience me and if my demands are not met, I will become angry and upset". If you were not demanding this, (as most people try to argue, at first) then you would very likely experience disappointment, or annoyance instead of anger. A similar argument would apply to anyone experiencing anger when the food they have ordered in a restaurant is not to their liking. The hatred is not in the food but in their evaluation of the fact that they do not like it, (i.e. and therefore should not have to put up with it) By acknowledging these facts as they are we are not trying to argue for equally irrational ideas such as that we have to simply put up with poor quality food or busses which arrive before their appointed times, merely that if we carefully observe our thoughts in such cases, we don't have to upset ourselves needlessly. We can give ourselves a choice. Or do I really want to express that he/she has hurt my feelings very badly. In this case 'STOP AND TAKE ACTION'. STOP & TAKE ACTION Stop and take action with calmness and detachment. You can approach the person and speak in the nicest tone of voice by saying "I would like to speak with you about the incident that happened earlier between us". If that person says OK then say what you need to say with calmness: "You hurt me deeply when you spoke to me so rudely in front of my friends". If he says: "Sorry about my bad behaviour I did not mean to do that, I don't know what came over me". You are lucky, that he wants to say ‘sorry’, and you have a win-win solution. But in any case you got what you wanted, which was to express your feelings appropriately. For the first time you have neither expressed your anger as anger nor suppressed it, you have in fact transformed it into calmness and clarity. Consequently, you were able to reflect the whole scenario in your mind and from your reflection you may have discovered that you needed to tell the person how hurt you were. Well done - you now know what to do when you are hurt, upset or angry (Stop, Breathe, Reflect, Take action and Letting go of that which has been) . The other person also may have got what he wanted - your friendship back. LETTING GO Let’s suppose, your friend said ‘Bugger off, I don’t want to listen to your crap’. Remember you should not at all cost distress your mind and body again. Hurting yourself with anger, once, is bad enough. Don’t hurt yourself twice, once is unfortunate, and twice is foolish. Just drop the whole thing from your mind, just let go of it. If you don’t let it go from your mind, it will mentally torture you fro a while. Do you want that? Yoga with Saeed can work in a very powerful trans-formative way to change your inner attitude towards yourself. It will motivate you to embody and integrate your awareness, attention and action with all aspects of your life. Be ready for the next emotional challenge. Don't blow it up, calm it down. Q. What is the best way of handling anger or any inappropriate emotions? A. Don’t suppress it. Acknowledge your anger but don’t act on it. Transform it into calmness and see what happens next, watch it! You now have all the techniques: now it’s over to you: rage or relax!